L SPawN
by oddribbits
Summary: Near gets a call from L, who sounds like he's taken LSD, and goes to see what's wrong with this 'thing' that's got L all freaked out.
1. Chapter 1

L Spawn

L Spawn

By: Vampire01210, Oddribbits, and Albinoemoth

One day L was sitting on his throw pillow, in front of his TV eating strawberry shortcake, watching Go Diego Go. Of course this was some time before the Kira case, and oddly enough this was also the first time he had ever eaten strawberry shortcake. Suddenly a raisin sized marble like ball shot out of his ear. L's head whipped around and he spied the marble like object stuck in the wall opposite his ear. L being of the curious type, abandoned his sugary goodness to inspect this oddity that had molested his ear cavity.

After prying the thing from his wall, he sat at the kitchen table and noticed the small object had writing on the side. They were directions.

DO NOT EAT!!

If you did not eat this, then next you should be forewarned: This Company does not indorse any injury, fires, throat diseases, explosive diarrhea, ear infections, blindness, or anal bleeding that may occur.

Drop in water.

Do not be concerned about the appearance of your product at the beginning and end of lifespan.

NO REFUNDS!!

And remember, have fun with it.

L wondered at the instructions… then went to find a mirror to see if the back of his jeans were blood stained. When he was completely sure no anal bleeding had ensued, he put a thin straw in his toilet and dropped the marble in it (why did he put a straw in his toilet? Even we don't know…). Suddenly there was a piercing cry and L covered his ears. Out of the toilet popped a blob of goo, which zoomed past his face and grazed his head, getting all in his hair (and that's why to this day his hair sticks out at odd angles). L watched the blob ooze out of the bathroom and into the hallway. L shuddered, hyperventilating. He heard a noise from the living room that sounded like a cat coughing up a hair ball. 'I do not own a cat' he thought as he went to inspect.

The blob had morphed into what looked like an over-sized retarded naked mole rat having seizures. L fell back in shock, tears forming in his eyes. L looked up to see the mole rat thing vibrating along the floor towards his shortcake. L jumped up and grabbed his cake.

"No! It's mine! Bad! Bad!" he shrieked.

The thing suddenly started pulsating and withering and screaming bloody murder. L watched it change into a cat sized naked mole rat. The thing suddenly sprang at L.

L ran off to his room, screaming like a girl with his arms out in front of him and his eyes closed. He slammed his door behind him and felt something warm running down his leg. He heard a thump as the thing hit the door. Then the door started vibrating. L slid to the floor, sobbing. He started frantically reaching for his phone.

In his panic he picked up his alarm clock and put it to his ear.

"Hello? Hello? Gah! My phone! Where?" he yelled as he threw the clock randomly. He soon had the cell in his hand and he called the first person he thought of… Near.

"Hello?" Near's voice sounded groggy.

"Near! Near listen very carefully. I'm freakin out, Near! I'm freakin out!"

"Are you being raped, L?"

"No, no, no, no, no! This thing, I don't know what the hell it is, but it shot out of my ear and, and, and…" L broke down into sobs. "It's outside my room; vibrating… it wants my cake. It made me pee myself… Near, I'm really scared. Help me! It's after me, it's after me Near!" L buried his head in his knees and sobbed harder.

L faintly heard Near whisper "Rodger, I think L's taken drugs…"

"I'm not on drugs!" L shrieked, "Why won't you believe me Near?! Why?!"

"If it will make you feel better, I'll come save you L…" Near said, quietly.

"Oh, thank you Near! Thank you…" L sobbed.

When Near arrived, he looked around. Nothing seemed out of the norm… except for the odd noise that sounded like a metal vibrator on wood… Near looked down the hall and there sitting against the door was a little kid that looked almost identical to L. The child was vibrating…

Near sighed. Just another day for the young Wammy student.

The small child looked up at him and smiled. It waved. Near waved back and walked up to the child.

"Where is L?" he asked, twirling his hair around his finger.

The child cocked its head, a questioning look on his face.

"Where is L?" he asked again.

"e-l? …" it looked at Near.

"L."

"e-l" it said.

Near nodded.

"W-wil ya-yoo bee ma friend?" it asked.

Near sighed.

"If you tell me where L is…"

"Near! Is that you?" L shrieked from behind the door.

The thing looked behind it.

"El?" it asked, turning back to Near.

"Yes. L, it's me." Near said.

"Oh, thank God! Is it still out there?" L asked.

The small child thing took Near's hand.

"He's afraid of me…" it whispered.

Near suddenly realized it had stopped vibrating.

"L you can come out now." Near said, having the child up so it stood on its feet.

L slowly opened the door, and his eyes widened when he saw the child.

"Who is this?"

"I think it's your 'thing', L" Near answered.

"What?!" L Shrieked.

-To Be Continued-

Okay, so this is my new story. I'm gonna try to get them over here again so we can write chapter two, so until then this is all you guys get. Sorry. But yeah… And I swear this story has a point to it… but I'm not gonna explain it right now 'cause I'm lazy. So until next time my darlings.


	2. Chapter 2

Original concept: Vampire01210

Continued: Oddribbits

-Ch. II-

"Tell me what happened, L." Watari said, watching as the detective rocked back and forth in the chair opposite the elder.

"I-I-I don't know… I was eating strawberry shortcake and the capsule shot out of my ear…"

"Out of your ear?" Watari asked.

L nodded and continued.

"And it had directions on it… they said to put it in water so I dropped it in the toilet and a gooey blob jumped out of it, and got gross stuff in my hair and then it changed a lot and chased me into my room and it made me pee myself and…" L broke down into smothered sobs as he buried his face into his knees.

Watari glanced over at Near, who shrugged and turned back to his robot battle in his expansive Lego city. Near was doing this all to keep the "thing" occupied.

"L, I think it will be okay," Watari soothed, "Go take a shower and change your clothes. I'll get rid of the rest of the strawberry shortcake and tidy up the apartment, ne?" Watari asked.

L looked up at his elderly guardian and nodded.

"Yes…" he murmured, as he got up from his chair and headed into the master bathroom (the one in his bedroom, not the birthplace of the spawn).

"Near…" Watari said, turning to the boy.

"Yes?"

"Please keep it entertained while I call Rodger."

Near nodded.

-Later-

Mello and Matt were lounging on L's couches, watching Near play with the little boy Near called E.

"Near, who is this kid?" Mello asked, resting the side of his head on his fist.

"L's…….nephew…" Near said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Uh…huh…" Mello said, glaring at the boy.

Mello slowly slid onto the floor beside Near from the couch and grabbed the boy's collar.

"Do you know what happens to little boy's that lie Near?" he asked menacingly.

Near just stared at him with a bored expression.

"Rodger rapes them." Mello hissed.

Matt scoffed as he rolled his eyes. 'Like the old bastard could get it up…' Matt thought.

Near somehow managed to kick Mello in the jaw, sending the blonde teen sprawling backwards.

Mello sat up and rubbed his jaw tenderly with his hand, growling.

Near turned back to his toys.

"Near, don't kick Mello. Mello, do not taunt Near."

Both Near and Mello turned to see L, drying his hair with a towel and wearing only a pair of blue jeans.

"Feeling better L?" Mello asked.

"Yes, much." L said, turning towards the small child seated on the floor opposite Near.

E stared wide eyed at L before getting up off the floor and toddling over to L. It wrapped its arms around L's knees.

'What manner of evil is this?' L wondered, slowly hoisting the child up and resting it on his hip.

The child tried to smooth L's hair back to no avail.

"Sorry…" it said, as it continued its plight.

"What are you?" L asked.

It looked at him.

"I'm a clone… of you."

"How exactly did this happen?"

"You would have to ask my creators."

"And who would they be?" L asked.

"The Three of Great Power." E answered.

L raised an eyebrow and put the child down.

"The Three of Great Power…" L murmured, going off to his office.

"Who are the Three of Great Power, E?" Near asked, blinking and lowering his robot he had been making fly around.

E slowly turned to face the young silver haired boy, his obsidian eyes glowing faintly green.

"We know them only as Rage, War, and Sorrow… The Three of Great Power." He said, wicked grin spreading across his face.

All three had a slight chill run up their spines and they exchanged looks.

"Rage…" Mello muttered.

"War…" Matt repeated.

"Sorrow…" Near whispered.

"Yes. They are our creators…"

"Our?" Matt asked, taking his eyes away from the PSP clutched in his hands.

"There are more of us." E said, spreading his arms. " We are spread throughout the world."

"What? Are they building an army?" Mello asked.

E giggled.

"I can't tell you that information…" he said, cooing.

The three boys shared another slight chill.

Mello grabbed Near by the back of his shirt and grabbed Matt's hand, taking off towards L's study. Once they were inside, he slammed the door, panting.

"What the hell, Mello?" Matt, Near, and L asked in unison.

"That things the devil!!" Mello cried out, pressing a shaking hand to his mouth.

"As stupid as that sounds, I would have to agree with you for once Mello…" Near said, twirling his hair around his finger.

"What did he say to you?" L asked.

"He said his creators are Rage, War, and Sorrow… It was fucking creepy…" Matt said, putting his hand on Mello's shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"Language Matt. I've Googled it… and found an overly cheerful webpage for the company that made the cake. The main ingredients are Joy, Peace, and Cheer… Antonyms of Rage, War and Sorrow… perhaps we need to visit this company… Watari?" L asked, pressing a button.

"Yes, L?"

"Can you set up a visit to the Hollow Reaper Cake Company in Chesilhurst, New Jersey? I'd like to arrange a meeting with the head of the company if possible." L droned.

"Right away, L." Watari said, before the connection was terminated.

"Hallow Reaper? Hallow would mean holy… Reaper would be the bringer of death, right L?" Mello asked, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes… very odd for a cake company…" L said.

"What do you think L? Could he really be a clone of you?" Matt asked.

"I would have to say so… Bring him in here please, I want to ask him some questions." L said.

Near left to get the little boy, wondering what was going on and why it was happening to his great mentor.

-End Ch. 2-

I'm so sorry it took so long, but I've been left to end this on my own and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with it… but I've decided and I hope to be posting a chapter a day for either this or my Bully fan fiction… today I posted a chapter for both and I guess that's really good. Again, I'm really, really sorry guys…


End file.
